Relationship Troubles

Becoming Apart After New Baby

Are you and your husband becoming more and more apart since you brought new baby home? This may be happening since you both are not sleeping enough, frustrations rise when baby continuously cries without cause, no alone time without new baby, and of course after having a baby a woman cannot be intimate with her partner until after, at minimum, 6 weeks (this can cause a major strain on the relationship) and not including if you are breastfeeding your boobs hurt, they are leaking, and lots of KY is necessary. Let's face it, us women do not feel sexy right after having a baby which can make DH feel unwanted and that leads to arguments and resentments.

What can be done in order to recreate the bond between you and your husband?

• Prepare his favorite meal and have a romantic dinner for the both of you.
• Have someone (your mom, his mom, or a friend) watch the baby (if you are breastfeeding pump for the occasion) to go to the theatre.
• Stay in and watch a movie while baby is asleep.
• Make him breakfast in bed.
• Talk to him about his day at work and your day with the baby.
• Include him by pumping a feeding or two so that he may spend time with new baby and you.

Trying some of the suggestions above may bring you closer together since it takes the edge off of the everyday routine the both of you are going through day in and day out, and taking a little brake away from baby once in a while, is OK too.

Do not let yourself feel as if your husband does not love the baby or you

OK mom, do not let the postpartum hormonal craziness make you feel that this temporary strain on your relationship is anything but exactly as I mentioned a strain. I know it is difficult to understand why DH may be acting indifferent to you and new baby, but if you understand and take what is happening for what it is and address the situation on time (i. e. not argue unnecessarily) everything can turn out to be alright. Now on the other hand (I know this from some personal experience unfortunately) if you let all the stress get to you and he both of you begin to constantly argue and hurt each other's feelings it will only end badly.

So, if you would like to have a stable home and relationship one of you has to make the effort and since we are by nature more emotionally inapt it should be us who do the above-referenced suggestions or any other that will make DH happy and lighten the load of everyday routine and stress.

Once again I hope I was of some help to my readers. Please feel free to leave me a message if you need advice on anything. Thank you, for reading my hub.